I'm so new to this it's sad. *sigh* Well, my life is weird and I'll learn quickly how to work this. Excuse my language, I have a problem.


why is bob short for robert

how does one get ‘billy’ out of ‘william’?

How in hell do you get “Dick” from “Richard”?

you ask him nicely

but he’s gay, so if you’re a girl you’ll probably have to rape him

(Source: anarchistpizzahut)

no. no toby fuck u i hate you never again will i trust you omfg stab me

My best friend might move away. Hug me.

asdfghjkl; is now a verb. 



i’m really good at wearing clothes, can that be my job

someone pay me to wear their clothes

and then other people will think the clothes will look good on them and buy those clothes

on my business card i can put “professional clothed person”

update: apparently this is just called “modelling” and i’m too short for it

i’m to fucking ugly.